Just a quick note, to say thanks to all of you who support me through thick and thin! I love you all times infiniti!!! Spend time with your loved ones whether they are Family and or friends and do nothing more than make memories,MEMORIES is what it is ALL about in the end!! All of us go through many ups and downs BUT it is those who stay with us during those hard time that we should hold dear to our hearts. Remember life is short…choose how you will live it!
I know its been a week and your emails continue to come in.. I do read them, i have just been feeling yucky! Its hard doing a higher amount of chemo and still function… Not to mention the other drugs they have me on. But tonight as i sit here alone reading your emails, i am reminded of the dark icky side of being sick. The side of being pushed to the side, expected to take care of ourselves while we wish nothing more than to be comforted. Its a difficult life we all live and then some of us are given sickness in the mix. Its easy for others to run and or push us aside. Easier for them run, while we have nowhere to go..its our health!But what i personally think about often is we choose who is in our lives, lately more and more this has been on my mind. My next blog will be some back story on this…I often find myself alone, scared, frustrated and then i realize its me who has brought me here. I work overtime trying to prove to others that i am here but it goes often unnoticed. I am sick almost everyday and i feel absolutely miserable and yet its me who tries to move mountains…. For what? What will it do for me? Who will do something just for me? Will my dreams ever come true or will i continue to drown in the quick sand?
Then today it hit me while i was at church, i heard over and over the pastor say,” do not chase what is not there” do not force what will not be”
I have goals. It might sound silly because i am dying but i do and i will finish them, and maybe what is wrong and frustrating to me right now is i am beginning to realize my goals may not be the goals of where i am. So what is the point? The point is this.. There is a reason for everything.. Maybe what i want isn’t what is going to happen how i want it too..it will be in a different maybe better way… I mean for me a lot is changing, i started at a new church and boy is this opening a lot of new doors for me.. I am meeting new people…Which means maybe this is why i am here…. Not for reasons that were of my own…
With that said hang in there … Sometimes its whats around the corner, that will mean the most, not what is in front of you…. * if you have to ask if they love you, they probably don’t or you wouldn’t be asking, you would know*
You need to find the person who shares in your dreams..someone who will be selfless..
Here is a great song…LISTEN to the words….Its very powerful! We all take a lot for granted! Love you all times infiniti!!
A little life lesson…Life brings us up and down and once again i was reminded that the only person we can count on is GOD. He is the only person in my life who has not let me down, lied to me or hurt me. I wish people could tell the truth because when people lie, they always come back to get ya. And then someone gets hurt. I personally do not understand why someone needs to lie, just say the truth, what is wrong with the truth? I refuse to be around people who can’t tell the truth. Life is bigger than all of us… Why waste it hurting others…
I find it odd that now its november everyone is all of a sudden grateful for things on a daily basis and have the need to tell is all via Facebook. So are we only grateful in november now? And not ever day of the year? I think its kinda weird myself but whatever floats your boat. I personally think we should find things we are grateful for daily.
I am sick and in constant pain everyday, but even i can name a Thing or two that i am grateful for. It may not be much but its something. Life is hard even without health issues but so many positive things happen in our lives, that we overlook. We all do it. Maybe someone smiled at us? Maybe today you had your favorite coffee, or saw a friend you haven’t seen in awhile, or a happy thought crossed your mind that made you smile. Did you laugh today? Did you get to spend time with family? Did someone do something special for YOU?
Count your blessings no matter how big or small, they are all blessings… Happy november everyone!