Looking for a pick me UP

This week i just found out my c7 & c8 are swelling and causing brain issues. Im so frustrated and angry and i keep looking for that one pick me up. The one that puts the smile on my face and keeps me moving on but i am stuck and can no longer see it. Its like when a toddler loses their fav doll/ baby/ etc and until its found NOTHING is right…the whole world is upside down…
I know probably a poor analogy but its all i could think of at the moment.
I just feel so lost and alone in a world that just keeps turning and refuses to slow down so that i can catch my breathe. I am falling apart st the seams and no one seems to take notice.. Its like I’m invisible.
I used to dislike being smothered and now i would sell everything i own to get smothered… The saying , ” you don’t know what you got till its gone” is TRUE.
I will never( and i don’t like to use this word) walk away from being smothered again…. If it ever comes my way again…
Its sad that in the end when you can feel death up the street, around the corner that you just want to run back to things that you took for granted and hold on so tightly. Life is funny that way…
Be careful for what you wish for!!! Be careful with the people you love, be careful with the time and days god gives you because you can never go back….

I think spring is HERE!

Hi everybody! This is going to be short and sweet as there is a lot going on here. I am having some issues with my brain thanks to this lovely disease and therefore i am exhausted and confused lately. When you have Brain issues, it affects everything, your sight, smells, thinking etc. But i do think about all of you and i do promise to update soon. I really hope Dr’s can help me! Although i understand i am on a downhill slope. Dying isn’t supposed to be any fun. On a positive note, the weather here is good today, which is awesome because i love the sun on my face! I love sun tea! I just love the sun sun sun. I hope next week to get out to Donner Lake, so that i can relax and take in some rays. 😉 I will have some new photos of my last travels up soon. New Mexico was really warm and i had a good time. Have a great week………and remember Life is short, pull people towards you not away from you! Love you all times infiniti!!!