Longest week ever..

What a week it has been! For everyone who has been worried about my hospital visit and Aryzona’s car wreck, this post is for you!

So because i am exhausted here is the readers digest of the last 7 days! Last Sunday, i was having so much pain that my pain meds were not doing a thing, so i HAD to go to the Hospital. I had no choice and good thing i did, i was admitted. They put me on essentially the same meds i take at home but higher doses and via an IV instead of oral meds/patches. Even at that, it took me over 4 hours to even begin to relax……..AND THEN my cell phone rang….on the other end was my panicked daughter, she had just been in an automobile accident. Even in my drugged can’t get out of hospital state, i was in a panic, i wanted to rip my IV out and run to her and honestly hurt the person that had hit her. Outside of her having some tumor issue on her leg when she was 14, i had never heard her so afraid and or in so much pain. As a mom i just wanted to help but I COULD NOT. So i started dialing numbers on my phone which was quite a challenge, as my vision from the meds was blurry and my heart was racing…who would answer their phone at 3am??? Even Brian was asleep unaware of the accident, as my daughter had tried to call him first, knowing i was in the hospital.
Thankfully after dialing 7 numbers a new friend picked up the call. God Bless this woman!!! She jumped to her feet and went to be that MOM that my daughter needed. She helped her get her things, write her statements, talk to cops etc and then took her to her house and took care of her. If that wasn’t enough she also took my daughter to the hospital(same hospital i was in, which was so hard for me, i knew my daughter was 2 floors below me and i still couldn’t see for myself that she was alive and ok), visited with me and then went home and took care of her own family, then picked up my daughter from the hospital and came over to our house to take care of me once i was released from the hospital. LeAne you are amazing! Both Brian, Zoe and i are so blessed to have you in our lives to help! I will put up the car wreck photos soon,when you see these photos and then know your child was in this car, its so heartbreaking. I am glad she is still with us and that God did not call her home yet.

Thursday and Friday was healing days for daughter and today although she still hurts and is covered in bruises, she is HERE, i just talked to her. It is strange when you see someone in a different light after something horrible happens. Last week i was ticked she didn’t do her dishes today i am glad she is alive…still not doing her dishes 😉 That was a close call, we will know more this week from the insurance company. As long as the car gets paid and all her medical bills get paid, we are GOOD!!

So onto my health drama….at the hospital they found out my kidneys are still bleeding SHOCKER
And that now my liver wants to join in on the fun….so no wonder i am hurting more than usual….other organs want in on the fun……I see the special specialist in October so we will see what he has to say…i am guessing i will be either doing two forms of chemo meds or chemo meds plus a biologic. Biologics can be just as bad as some of those chemo drugs but it is what it is……
Brian and i wanted to escape from all the crazy so we packed up the motorcycle and went to Burney falls (which is Stunning) Saturday, then stayed in our tent at The Hat Creek Hereford Ranch about 30 miles from Burney Falls which may i say was awesome! This Ranch is a HIDDEN Gem! 3 fires had just been through the area on August 3rd and some how the fire went around this ranch. As you turn down Doty lane to drive down to this place, you can see where a gas station/dinner stood just weeks ago. All you see now is ash and burnt items. That’s IT! and then you keep driving and the road opens up to this BEAUTIFUL Ranch with Green grass, children playing, fishing…I personally took it as, bad destructive things happen but there is always beauty if you keep your eyes on the prize. Life may not be fun, positive or beautiful all the time but yesterday i was reminded to not take for granted the times that are positive, fun etc. ! Up in that area of California where we were, some people are with out homes, with out their keepsakes, i am writing a blog from my living room right now and that is a positive thing. I may be in pain, i may feel like the world is coming to an end but i have a home. Sometimes we have to look at ANYTHING and EVERYTHING that is positive. When you are sick, sometimes that is hard but our little weekend trip really reminded me of how fast more things can go bad.
So today as we packed up our tent, put on my new pain meds, and had coffee i thought about my life. I thought about where my life is heading and the hard choices coming in October and all that comes with that. And then i prayed…. i asked NOTHING of God, instead i thanked him for this little haven, for this time i had JUST with Brian, for a even though i feel like crap,i got to camp this weekend and mark off one of my destinations off my bucket list, for reminding me that even through the black(remains of a fire) there is life and light ahead(this beautiful Ranch), for my daughter to still be here with us all, for great church family who reached out to us during this last hard week(especially LeAne, who went over and beyond), For the few REAL friends i have, for Tyrone Wells Music that soothes my soul and just a general thanks for all the things in my life that i see positive or negative, because lets face it, together the good and the bad are all a part of what makes me ME.
I realized after praying that i have missed two weeks of church one due to me being in hospital, the other missed day,today, as we were on the road home but We weren’t alone on the open road, God rode along with us. We are all home now…and you know what….. I am so glad this week is over….

CCW done!

Boy am i so blessed to finally have this behind me! I have been so afraid that my disability would take this goal from me too. Today i did it. I trained for hours on different guns and i really put my best foot forward. I passed! You are allowed 3 misses i believe and i missed ZERO! I had great trainers and i feel more confident that i have ever felt, with that said i have a lot more training ahead but i am excited and willing to learn. When i can (later this week, i will post a pic of my CCW qual. Today was a good day! Now as far as my health, i am exhausted. It was a long warm day. It was not just physically taxing but mentally too. I hope everyone did something exciting this weekend. I will write more later, this girl is off to bed! Hugs and love