Others Effort

I thought I would jump on here and give an update….and talk briefly on a subject I am asked about a lot.

UPDATE

Some of my blood work has come back and everything and I mean everything is either low or high…

I have a Dr appt next Wednesday and one on March 1st. I have no idea on what the plan is yet…..Who knows what the Dr’s will do or not do. At this point I just feel overwhelmed and scared of what is going on inside my body. In the meantime I am still on the higher dose of chemo/biologic mix, which is making me miserable. I hate how much I throw up, the headaches are just awful, the internal bleeding is off the charts and I feel so exhausted. 

 

I know I have not been up to answering all the emails I get but I will try to get them as soon as I get some damn energy. However lately many of the emails I have read touch on the way people treat us. I know we talk about this quit a bit but it obviously is a main problem with the chronically ill. I think the more we talk about it,  the more we can comfort each other and maybe just maybe we can educate those who need to be.

So here is my advice….and trust me, this is hard advice, some I need to take myself…

First off NONE of US are PERFECT and Chronic Illness is NO JOKE. Life with us can be hard. With that said though us being sick in my opinion should be the worst thing we have to deal with.  Dr appts, poison meds, physical therapies, Er Visits, not being able to eat what we want, starving, vomiting, bleeding,blood draws, feeling fatigued etc SHOULD be enough negative for ONE person.Don’t YOU think?

I am sorry that some of you have crappy family/friends( i HAVE them too.) I think that we all need to take a moment and think about what we want in our lives. Is all this heartache worth it? Is this what we deserve? The truth is we need people like this…

and when they are not like this we need to be able to…

And I know this is easier said than done but..

In some of the emails I read that some of you are afraid to be alone while sick so you put up with people who do not treat you like they should. I get this 100%, it is scary being alone with out being sick so of course adding sickness would make it even more scary.  It is zero fun going to Dr appts or to the ER alone, I have done it before and it sucks. Being sick sucks and I do not know about you but I feel so helpless when I am alone. I feel like an abandoned child. Instead of asking what is wrong with the people in my life, I always ask what Is wrong with me? I am beginning to realize I have no control over how others will treat me, I can only control the way I allow it to affect me.

Just how we have to pick up ourselves from our health issues, we have to pick up ourselves when people knock us over.  The only difference between the two is this….our health we can’t change but the people we choose into our lives we can!

 

I love this quote….

I think that sometimes we get so caught up in this thing called life that we just settle..we settle for something “comfortable and familiar.”  This is Not living. Life is short as we know all too well. So forgive those who are not kind or supportive of us and then walk away….you never know what your future holds….

Just because we are sick that doesn’t mean that we deserve nothing else good in this life. Through this health journey I have had many ups and downs with who I allowed on my path. I sometimes find myself crying/hurt over who is and who isn’t on my path.  As my health got worse, I watched people run away or treat me not how I would treat them and I learned that it was easier to push everyone else away in fear that they too would run or begin to treat me differently. It is so hard to be told I am loved only to hear later on that my health is TOO MUCH, that I am to sick to be with OR lay here wondering why I am not loved……….my conclusion is that……

 

On a POSITIVE and Final note……

Enjoy the Good days, push through the Bad and choose wisely who is allowed on YOUR journey…

OXOX