Tag Archives: autoimmune

Reason for the Season

 

 

 

Question for you all…….Why does God heal some and not the rest of us? Does this thought ever cross your mind in some shape or form? Sometimes I get so frustrated when I feel like I am doing everything I can to fight my own body but always come up short. Then I read these amazing stories of people who have stage 4 cancer and then miraculously are “cured.” Now do not get me wrong, I am happy for them, very happy but I wonder what is wrong with me, that I am not cured or at the very least feeling like I am getting somewhere with my disease, like the chemo and biologics are doing their damn job.

When will my forever happy ending happen? When will I begin to enjoy life again, will I ever?

Lately I have felt consumed with questions like this. I am overwhelmed with everything that has to do with my health. I am so tired of it running my entire life. There is NOTHING my health hasn’t touched and I WANT my life back and I want it back NOW.

Just this past week I went with some friends to see the new Star Wars and half way through, my pain was so bad.  I was shaking like those old “magic finger vibration beds.” It was so frustrating! Can I NOT enjoy anything anymore?

 

I am so tired of trying to find my “happy” place when all I feel like is the tide has ripped me from the sand and pulled me under. I am really tired of all the sickness and destruction these autoimmune diseases have and IS causing.

 

I am also tired of being asked if I am ready for the holidays? What does this mean exactly? Is someone coming over for the holidays, that I didn’t know about? Is my chemo/biologic mix going to give me a day off because my next treatment date falls on  Christmas? Is somebody having us over for Christmas dinner? Am i going somewhere? Are you going to put up my tree and decorate for me because I have zero energy? Are the people I miss going to visit? Is a cure coming my way?

If you can’t answer any of the above, PLEASE STOP asking me if I am ready for the Holidays.  Not everyone has HOLIDAY plans….

While I am on the subject of Christmas, I would like to thank Staci and her family for the awesome Christmas card! You make our  door not look so naked this year. Love you guys

While I am bitching about the holidays, I want to shout out to those of you who are not ONLY dealing with their health but are also going through relationship bullshit. Last Monday I took some time to read some other health blogs and unfortunately I read the SAME old shit….People are hurting because some people can be mean. I am so tired of hearing about us “spoonies” having to watch/feel others leave us. Why can’t our health be the WORST thing we are going through? Is having our Own body kill us NOT enough?

I just want all of you that are going through relationship bullshit to hang on and try to not let it destroy you. I have been through it, so I know what it feels like. I know it hurts when someone that says they love you and they will stand by you and then when you need them the most…they walk out the door…like you meant nothing and You are left holding your heart in your hands. 

One particular women on this blog i was reading, wrote about how she doesn’t date anymore because once people see how she can barely walk and is in constant pain, they never ask her out again, so why bother? This comment made me cry because We DID not choose to be sick. Do we not deserve to be loved because of our health?

Spoonies, you are worth loving…NEVER forget that……

HEALTH UPDATE

My pain has been about the same(HORRIBLE)….i have one good day then 2-3 crap days. I am noticing though that the chemo meds are causing me severe pain about 6 hours after injection and the pain lasts for about 10 hours and does not give up. I try to talk to my doctor about it but she doesn’t seem concerned…… She says, “Its poison your putting into your body….what did you think it would feel like……?! ”  And she loves to just UP my chemo meds instead of trying other things….

Then I have my pain specialist who thinks everything he does for me is a damn miracle.  Let me tell you this pain pump was SUPPOSED to be the best thing for me but has been my biggest nightmare this year. It was supposed to work so well that I would not have to see him but every 3 months to refill the pump and I would no longer need any pain patches and or oral meds….HAHA what a joke, I now need monthly refills on my pain pump and he has me back on oral meds along with the pain pump…..

I just do not get it! I put a lot of  my faith into these doctors who promise the world and half the time fail me over and over again.  I am so tired of people failing me. I just wish people/Doctors would not just HEAR me but Listen to me.

I am still internally bleeding which is soooo MUCH fun as you can imagine. The skin on my face and hands is peeling and inflamed, making me feel so damn self conscious. I know my disease affects all organs and skin is an organ but I just wanted ONE DAMN ORGAN to not be affected….

I know I sound all negative Nancy right  now but it better that I write it down than keep it in my head. I hate when I talk to other “spoonies” and they tell me that they are afraid to share how they really feel in fear that people will see them differently.  This is what I have to say about that…

Are they the ones feeling your OWN body killing you? Do they feel your pain 24/7? Are they the ones spending more time with doctors than friends? Did their lives CHANGE completely?

Something else I can’t personally stand is when other people who have my  disease or a similar one, and they blog like I do but mask what they are really going through….I KNOW what this shit feels like, I know what the meds do to us, I know how it affects us physically and mentally….so please don’t be fake. Show your true self, others will appreciate you for it! Sure we can have “good” days if that is what you want to call them…but I can guarantee that our “good” days are NOTHING like the Good days we had before we were sick……

The truth will set you free and will clear your mind of some of the stress that can be toxic and affect your health even more.

FINAL THOUGHTS

For me I have to remember the reason for the season and it isn’t all the cruel people in the world who ignore us or treat us like we are beneath them because we are sick. It isn’t about shit families. It isn’t about feeling left out. It isn’t about the cards, you didn’t send. It isn’t about the sorry, you didn’t say.  It isn’t about what I wanted this year and didn’t get. It isn’t about all the things I was promised to finish this year. It isn’t about dreams that were crushed because of the people we chose in our lives. It isn’t about feeling so alone battling this disease. It isn’t about my anger when others seem to get what they want but my life stays the same. It isn’t about what some get in 6 months and I never get.  It isn’t about my frustration. It isn’t about this damn pain pump I HATE. It isn’t about all the disappointments.  It isn’t about people I miss who chose to keep me at an arms length. It isn’t about people who have taken parts of me, i will never get back. It isn’t about all the Dr appts i had this year. It isn’t about all the hospital stays i had this year. It isn’t about lost friends or new ones. It isn’t about all this horrible pain i feel everyday.  It isn’t about all I have lost to this damn disease. It isn’t about all the poisons i do every damn week. It isn’t about the sadness I feel in my heart. It isn’t about how I am so tired of fighting my own body. It isn’t about me knowing I am fighting a losing battle with my health. What it is about is…..Jesus. I could care less if you are religious or not…….To me…..The season is still about him….not US. I am a child of GOD…and tonight I am reminded to straighten my damn crown…..because when I am falling apart the most(which is NOW)…..he will always have me in his hands…He will also be holding you…………OXOX

 

 

 

 

 

 

September Madness

 

I know 3 weeks ago, I promised to go more in depth in regards to chronic illness and relationships, however my health has unfortunately taken a turn for the worse. These past 2 weeks I have been in the hospital, so my post on relationships has been pushed back but I promise to get it done by the end of the month.

Due to the overwhelming messages I decided to write a little post about what is going on with me.  My cell death and inflammation around my organs is at an all time high right now. It appears that the chemo and biologics are doing absolutely nothing except making me miserable. Which in turn makes my pain go from a 6 to 1 million. No SHIT. The pain is so unbearable that I find myself praying God just takes me. With that said I have been in the hospital a LOT.

Thanks Brian for being my Javier to my Letty 🙂 Nothing is ever perfect but it always seems to work itself out……

I would like to shout out to Alisha who has become a really valuable player in my health crap. I am so grateful to her for taking time to help me. Although I think next time Alisha, You will be required to pick me up on the scooter…I mean it just makes more sense than riding in your truck….HA! * I promise not to  pee*

I also would like to thank the BEST NURSE ever, Rocco. Rocco is an amazing example of what a nurse should be like. I spend at least 70% of my life in hospitals and he is the only one that I have ever met who has so much compassion for his patients. He always goes over and beyond.

He will rub my hair until I feel safe, he will do whatever it takes to make  me comfortable. I am NOT a number, to him I am a person. When you are sick like I am, being a person to those taking care of you, is one of the most important things. So many treat us like numbers or like paychecks.  God definitely put him on my path for a reason. I really love this man, he has been taking care of me for over 8 years. I pray all of you battling your illness/disease have at least one person like Rocco on your team, it does make all the difference. If I ever win a million dollars, I would send him and his family on a dream vacation. 😉 No one is more deserving.

I also wanted to touch a little on the dark side of dealing with your body killing you. I know last month I touched a little bit on the Suicide subject because it unfortunately is a huge part of the chronic/terminal community but these past weeks have been the worst for myself. I think it is important that we be able to express how we feel and not have any repercussions. Like I said last month, your thoughts are normal, this life IS hard. The pain, the Dr’s, the hospitals, the lack of support, frustration etc it is REAL. I hope that all of you going through it, keep pushing through it. I have my days when I am just DONE, but I pray that God brings me/all of us through it. Lately life has been really hard on me because I feel that everything is now beginning to slip through my fingers. Everything that the disease to this point has not affected is now affected.  I feel so empty and so vulnerable. I often wonder what the point of my life is?! Some days I can answer this question and some days I just feel so clueless.

Last week I had an appt with one of my specialists who I know hears me but really does NOT listen. It took all I had but I told him that I AM DONE, I will NOT live like this anymore, so he needs to help me figure this out. I am still unsure if he was  completely listening or not but I see him again this Wednesday to change some of my meds that go directly into my spine via my pump. Only time will tell if this will help, if it does not then this….. was for NOTHING.

I told my Dr……

I also see my disease specialist this Thursday because this chemo/biologic mix IS NOT working and we need to look at more aggressive(like the shit i already take isn’t ) treatment options.My disease at this point is winning. My cells are taking over and attacking all my organs, If it continues at this rate, I will not survive much longer. I try not to think this way but it I see my body deteriorating. The internal bleeding is insane, I would show you pics but do not want to freak you all out. The weakness that has always been apart of my disease is extremely overwhelming now, I barely make it up to go to the bathroom anymore. I am lucky if I make it work 1 day now. As I said above, I see all these changes coming on…..as much as i want to keep fighting….I am tired. I still believe this is ME….

but my body quickly reminds me..

I am no longer afraid to die, I believe wholeheartedly that I have fought as much as I possibly could. So if my time is coming, I am ready, I am tired, this life has been full of battles, battles I am proud to say I fight standing up. I am living proof that you can keep going no matter what. In 2001 my specialist said I had 7 years to live, here it is 2017. I have already beat the odds and I will continue to fight until the very end.

I still have a few things to finish, I have this book deal that I want to finish and I just became part of another project that I am super excited about. Not to mention I love being at work…..I mean who wouldn’t want to work around this shit?! And I  really miss training……#america #pewpewpew

So until God takes me I am going to continue to fight and try to enjoy what good things life does bring my way…..I pray you all do the same….XOXO

Don’t Expect To See A Change, If You Don’t Make One!

Hi!! I know this post has been one of the most anticipated by many of you..HOWEVER I want to cover a few things before I tell you all the BIG news…….

Health wise my body has been in SO MUCH pain!!!!!!! 24/7 pain when you have a gosh dang-it pain pump is BULLSHIT! AARRG This whole situation has been a complete mess and I feel so out of control. I am not sleeping, I am eating during odd hours and I am just over IT.

So last week I took all these blood tests and we should have all the results in the next 48 hours but one came back the same day. This particular test showed my cell death has doubled in the last month. So as much as I want control over my health, at the very moment I need the chemo and biologic meds BUT I am not giving up on looking for alternative stuff. I am DONE watching my hair fall to the floor, I am DONE bleeding from what seems like everywhere. I am DONE with how these chemical meds make me feel.  My asshole disease DOES enough to me! My specialist says the chemo and biologic mix slows the disease progress so if I continue not to do treatment, the disease will be very progressive…..Like i said before one test is already back and the other 14 will be back within the next 48 hours. With the first test already bad, I am so afraid of what the other ones will show. I feel so selfish for stopping the meds BUT I needed the break…….It has been 5 FUCKING years of that shit. What if this is the very reason my pain has tripled? Did I do this to myself? Is my body punishing me? Please keep me in your prayers this is going to be a rough next few days. And even though i restarted the poison meds a few days ago, I might have already done some serious damage that may require some other fucked up meds…….But on a positive note, I am looked cute on test day..

. And with me, when one vein says enough is enough….they hit the other side……Share and share alike 😉

If you follow me, you know this year has been pretty rough on me, It seems like every time I turn around something else is in my way.

Truth is, I never thought my world  would turn from this  to this 

Yes I am smiling in both pictures BUT ONE has no idea of what is about to happen, ONE does not know that in a matter of weeks, she will be giving up on her Bachelors in Criminal Justice, giving up an amazing career, watch people shut the front door  and never come back, ONE will pass on some amazing opportunities,and live a life full of poison meds, disabilities and severe pain. One will be forced to trade in her energy and friends for severe fatigue and Dr’s. The other ONE is smiling because even though my hair is falling out due to meds, my organs are struggling due to disease, I AM STILL A FIGHTER.  Yes most days I want to JUMP off a cliff, BUT I have learned to live for the Good days, the days I can get out of bed, feel the disease and pain rip through my body and still Smile. 

With ALL that said I am so grateful for those of you who let me be silly, who push me past the negative……..

Some of you live far away now But keep in close touch and I love you all for that! I miss and love you guys so much! The rest of you fools get to deal with me a few times a week….SUCKERS

P.S. if you don’t see yourself above stop being so SENSITIVE………….. HA!

Sabrina girl we have to get together eventually, can you imagine the selfies? HA HA……thank you so much girl for coming into my life. I love that we share so much even the bad parts..the health stuff…..shit If we were healthy we wouldn’t even know about each other….. #shieldmaidens

Later this week, I will be sharing with you all a taste of Sabrina’s health journey..so be sure to read it under the Tab titled  Stories that inspire you…….

Take time to be silly…in the end NOTHING we own is going with us SO MAKE MEMORIES……

 

Outside of the pain, I have been to the Dr 3 times in the last week…….I think they call that dating?!

This one is for you folks who say…….”Hang in there Kari.”

Unless YOU have or ARE going through what us “spoonies” go through….please think before you speak. I know it is hard to find things to say to those of us who are struggling everyday but I personally would rather hear nothing then, “you look good today, you must feel ok,” “the pain should be better tomorrow,” ” tomorrow is a new day,” “you can do it,” and all of course my all time favorite…..”you look so good, how can you be so sick.”       I had no idea you could SEE INSIDE ME……… I am Impressed!!

 

BUT IF YOU REALLY COULD SEE INSIDE, THIS IS WHAT YOU WOULD SEE….

I know many of you mean well but this is ONE thing we all struggle with. Truth is many of us will NEVER be healthy again, this is our NEW NORMAL and it sucks, if you could just imagine having the FLU forever along with some Broken bones….then MAYBE just MAYBE you can imagine what our life is like.

Since my last post, I have received many emails in regards to being left, or being treated like crap by those who say they love you. If you remember nothing else…remember this…

Everybody has bad days, even those who do not share our health issues, so allow for those days but if it goes beyond that and into ABUSE….

I think one of the hardest things i am STILL learning is this…

Even when I am weak and in more pain than i want to explain, I still push myself to make others happy when they could careless what I do or don’t do. It is who I AM. I am the type of person who gives 100% in ANY relationship even on my worst days. This is one of the things that I will be changing, because I am wasting so much energy on people who don’t give a shit.  Sometimes through all the health stuff, I forget my worth. I  get lost in all the pain and suffering. I forget I am a person, a GOOD person. None of us are perfect BUT this doesn’t mean we HAVE to put up with shit. Our health is ENOUGH.  My goal is to make SURE my health is the only NEGATIVE thing in MY LIFE. *Side note*** for those of you going through a rough breakup/friendship..whatever, I am here to listen. You are NOT alone! TAKE care OF YOU!!!!

 

 

 

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT…….You have all been patient enough..

 

Where I am now, I am NOT growing as a person. My Doctors can no longer do anything BUT keep me comfortable. Everyday I do the same thing over and over again. This is NOT how I want to live. So We are moving. We are leaving Nevada. I need to see better/different Doctors. We are currently looking for different treatments, I really don’t have time to waste. No else advocates for me BUT ME. I do not need to get into detail but every aspect of my life is at a STANDSTILL. Everywhere I look, I am the sick girl, I will never get the opportunities that others are given. I will never be given the opportunity to advance because of my “disabilities.” Every time I get involved in something outside of my health, I hit road bump after road bump. I am DONE. I am with DONE with some people here in Reno, I am done with Doctors who just want to cut and fill my body with pills. I will no longer settle. I want to go where no one knows me. I want to be appreciated. I want to spread my wings before they are fully clipped. There is nothing in Nevada for us. You would think living here for half my life I would have some ties but I found out very quickly when I got sick, just how fake people can be and just how bad the Doctor/hospital care is.  Sure I will miss some of you who I have a special bond with but life goes on……It takes 2 keep a friendship……i will see just how many of you keep in touch….and YES i know phones work both ways….I know how to use mine, Do you?

I will keep you all posted on the move date, please do not ask where we are going, it is not important right now, we are not moving anywhere to be close to any one thing or anyone..We are doing this for US…….That is all I have to say on the subject. 

 

The other news is…a few months back 2 publishers approached me with book offers(apparently some people like what I have to say…… ha!)The choice of who to go with was easy!  I have decided to go with a publishing company that stands for FAMILY, supports our country and understands some of my struggles. I do not want to say much at the moment except that I am excited to do this and proud to be a part of this amazing journey.  This book will be time consuming, therapeutic(i am sure), But so worth it. And of course some of you can have a signed copy….. LOL

When i first began writing, i did it to get my health demons out, I had no idea how much my life, my words, my struggles would end up helping so many others like myself. I have to admit most days the future seems bleak, i can barely see the light at the end of the tunnel and I am scared and unsure where my health journey is taking me BUT it is silver linings like this that give me HOPE…and sometimes that is all we need to get us through each second of the day…..

Thank you for your continued support….Much love to all of you <3

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It is What it IS

Happy July Everyone!!!

Alright lets do this….

HEALTH UPDATES:

Tomorrow will be 3 weeks off of chemo and biologic meds and so far I am really miserable. BUT this is expected as now my autoimmune diseases are allowed to do what they want. 

 It is what it is…..

Last week my knees were very swollen and all I wanted to do was cut them off. I tried everything and when NOTHING helped, i went to see my Dr. My Dr by accident turned up my spine pain pump a little too high and it made me very sick….thankfully the next day he was able to turn it back down. All Dr’s are against my medical choices so please continue to keep my secret…LOL

I am going to DIE on my terms which may change day my day…..But I am not going down with out a fight! I will keep you all posted.

 Sometimes you just have to push through the pain…

Next week I do my first set of blood tests off of my chemo/biologic meds. I am very scared to see the results but maybe my body will surprise me….

Also starting tomorrow(Monday July 3rd) i will no longer eat anything white like starches and such(although I will have ONE cheat day a month.)This last surgery and meds  has really kicked my ass…and this excess weight gain has got to hit the road!!! So if you have any good veggie recipes toss em my way!

 

MY BITCH SESSION:

I have had a lot to deal with this past few weeks and for ME, it is best to get it off my chest…Lately I find myself mad because even though I wan my health to be the worst thing in my life, I find other life issues rearing their  ugly head where it does NOT belong..ARRG  For those that do not know me personally, I am a very A personality so I like things my way, done RIGHT the first time, very few questions asked. With that said you can imagine how I might feel when I can’t control things like my health and then other “life” issues start to arise! 

I feel so out of control when my pain will not stop, I can’t sleep and It hurts to walk. I just want to escape, so I head out to my car that needs new tires. Then i see that I need gas however my bank account says ZERO. It is then I am once again reminded of another thing my health has taken away…why did I bother to spend all that time on  my Criminal Justice degree? Why does the government put such TIGHT guidelines on people who are on disability? Like we did it to ourselves? Just last month i was kicked off the Medicaid program because I made an extra FUCKING $48 dollars. Seriously????? It is such bullshit. I feel like they want those of us on disability to just sit at home ALL THE TIME feeling sorry for ourselves waiting to die. Well that IS NOT me, I want to be OUT every day MY BODY ALLOWS ME TOO!!!

And then I am a little OCD..i think it comes with the A personality…HA! So I PUSH myself even when I SHOULD not in every aspect of my life. I spend spoons doing stuff and then I watch as people take little to NO notice of what I do. Do you know how much it takes to  just shower and dress myself most days?

Autoimmune diseases love giving us severe fatigue along with that FUN pain. Fatigue is so much more than just being tired. Imagine the last time you had the flu….and then quadruple that feeling and that is what many of us experience EVERY day. Please have compassion or at the very least respect the shit we DO when we can! We really are doing our best.

 

So not to hit on this subject again BUT i get so many emails on this TOPIC….Why do loved ones leave us?  

As i have said before I can only really talk about what I have experienced and just so you know, as long as you guys keep asking about it, i will talk about it. I am not afraid or ashamed of what others will think or do think, i could fucking care less. Does it hurt sure but that will eventually go away…and hopefully the RIGHT people will come into our lives…

This meme is so TRUE, you need to forgive yourself. And remember it is never a mistake UNLESS you didn’t learn from it. 😉

Several of you asked if i could sum up how i felt in the moment my health was used against me and how I felt as someone who was supposed to love me walked out.  To be honest he made me feel like I was not worthy of being loved by others. 

And being the A personality I am, I let this fester in my mind and heart, I ALMOST let it change the person I am. Because outside of being a very strong headed person I am so loving, I give a million % of myself, because I know first hand what It is like to be left behind so why would I want someone else to feel that way? I wouldn’t.  Like many of you, I was left over something I could not change, i couldn’t fix my health, I couldn’t fix that I was always in bed. At the time I could not find a way out of my frustration, I couldn’t just FIX my fucking health and so you left me behind. For the longest time I drove myself crazy because I could NOT for the life of me see how someone could leave someone sick because I myself would NEVER walk away from my sick loved one. But I guess LOVE means something different to everyone. Which brings me to another group of people, “family.” Even people who share our blood or family ties can be just as ruthless and hurtful. Many “spoonies” will agree that anyone who can’t “deal” with our health issues will walk when given the chance. So if BLOOD family can walk away then should we be surprised when others do too?

The important thing to remember is IT IS THEIR LOSS. I now look back and see all the things that people have missed out because they chose to leave. So many amazing memories I have made with other people because they chose to love me no matter what my health is like. They chose  NOT to say what you said to me… ” I can’t watch you die,” “your health is making me sick too,” “i love you BUT, this is just too much.”  Or my other favorite things i hear from others(ONCE a year), “we really care about you,” “thinking of you kari,”….Ya once a year I cross your mind…

Heads UP…………………………………..THIS IS NOT HOW YOU TREAT SOMEONE YOU SUPPOSEDLY YOU CARE ABOUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! When you care about someone, you keep IN TOUCH. It really isn’t that hard….Just saying 😉 AND if you have not noticed..i treat others as they treat ME….

 

Then there are others we keep in our lives who keep us at arms length and never really truly love us, they just keep us around maybe because they don’t want to be like others and leave us behind or maybe we are just good ENOUGH until someone else comes along. They “hide” us for a lack of a better word. Meaning they seem to care when we are around but the minute we are out of sight we are out of their mind. I see this a lot. They too take us for granted. Like the sick do not deserve to be loved. Like we will never be good enough.It is hard for all involved BUT the difference is,  we can’t just UP and leave, we are stuck.Do you feel lucky that you were able to leave and not look back? Do you sleep well for treating others like they are worth nothing? Why did you get involved with someone who was sick? Did you think it would be easy or were you just settling till something better came along because that is how it felt and looked. Did you think because others had done it before, that made it ok? 

I believe it takes REAL people to stand by someones side and it takes an even bigger person to stand by someone who is battling chronic illness. This goes for family, friends and lovers. So THANK YOU to those who chose to stay and fight with us. <3

 

I encourage some or all of you who are going through  very hard personal situations to write down how you feel and share it, you can even share it here on my site. Let others know they are not alone. We might all be spoonies but we all have different experiences that set us back. Just don’t stop fighting for YOU. Always get back up. A few weeks ago I had another health issue dumped on me and I felt suffocated, shit I wanted to get up and leave me…and I sat in that negative moment for a few days and then I got the FUCK up.

KNOW that it is OK to fall on your knees and scream at the sky…throw your fit and get back up. I am so tired of hearing about suicide in our community. But at the same time I get it.  I get it. This is a huge reason why I write, in hopes that someone maybe YOU wants to give up because you are tired of the pain, the Dr appts, the meds, the fatigue, people leaving, people not understand…..I want YOU to know YOU are NOT alone.

Having a chronic illness, autoimmune disease, cancer, depression etc it sucks and it IS hard but we can be STRONG and we CAN make a difference. I believe this Wholeheartedly. WE ARE WARRIORS

I think before I end this little Rant, I would like to say a few thank You’s...

Thank you Alisha for giving me an amazing Birthday gift that Will be so GOOD for my health….Thank you for being so selfless as I know you have your own battles…

Thank You Jaime for just listening, sometimes that is all I need and thanks for not just seeing me as sick. We should have Wild Cherries cookies everyday 😉 You are awesome!

 

Thank you coworkers for giving me another reason to go to work and always having my back….I am going to miss you SUPER LEAD……

 

Thank you Belle, Cheryl, Sabrina, Ellen, Tamyra and all the other Spoonies who help keep my chin up and remind ME, that I AM NOT alone!

 

 

POSITIVE THINGS GOING ON DESPITE IT ALL:

We all know Rainbows appear when it rains…..here are my rainbow moments….

I recently became a Brand Ambassador for Wartorn Apparel. I love this company because they are Marine Corps Veteran Owned and Operated. If you get a chance, check them out @wartornapparel and use WTA-openkari for a discount.  Support America, Support our veterans!!!  Have a Happy 4th and Remember those who have and are fighting for our FREEDOM!!!!!!!!!!!

I am also working on another project, once we get further along, I will let everyone know the details…Just pray I get more energy to keep working on it.

What are you Rainbow moments? Whatever they are be PROUD of those moments, SHINE on SPOONIES! Keep pulling yourself UP, Inspire others and support each other!

XOXOXO  As always thank YOU for all the support <3

P.S. If you want to share your story, send me an email……